On a final note for those interested here's the link to to Rapid City's Hookah Lounge, which has great atmosphere and is definitely a fun place to hangout.

"http://www.myspace.com/ifrits_hookah_lounge"

So yesterday sucked for the most part, God talk about looking like a train wreck for everyone to see. Wake up, all was okay kind of, and I had my mind set on just being left alone to do my own thing, and nothing else. Well, my brother must have noticed from my bloodshot eyes, bed head hair, and shitty attitude that I wasn't in a good mood. So after showering, grabbing a little something to eat, feeling like a zombie as I walk around my house, then my brother looks at me and says, "Let's go to a movie..." In the back of my mind I'm like sure, cool, yeah a way to get out of the house for a change. Well, we head out to the movie called, "Marley and Me."

Okay, so we get to the movies, I get out of my brother's car and you want to talk about bad luck and timing, low and behold the back of my newly washed jeans are covered in nasty mud... ugh I was pissed... that was the first incident to fuel my already shitty mood. Well, I suck it up and go inside to the theater, pretty much not really caring at that point, and sit my happy ass down in a row where some stupid preppy bitch was glaring at me... At that point I figured if she were to have come over to me and told me she was saving those seats, I probably would've said, "Look, these seats obviously haven't been saved, otherwise you would've tried harder at making an effort to see to it that they were saved. Either way, I'm sitting here along with my brother, that's two people, and if you need more seats well there's some in the way back..." Or something along those lines, more or less. But sure enough get through the previews and no one has come to sit by us. Yeah success, victory is mine, and with a gleeful smile on my face I just sat back and watched the rest of the movie.

... To sum up the movie well it was really good, some sad parts, some hilarious parts, but an overall decent movie. Definitely a good family movie, I'd say anyway...

Alrighty, jumping to later on that evening, mom is home supper is cooking, and I'm scrubbing up potatoes, setting the table, and trying to ignore the rude comments mom aims my way. You see, my mom has a way of taking out her anger onto everyone else... and well my brothers, dad, and I have all gotten used to this to some degree. Well, still not entirely over my crappy mood, it's like I feel these comments hitting every square inch of my self-confidence to the core. Hell, it was like being in a 3-round boxing match, in the kitchen there with my mom, and she's pulling off blow after blow, as I'm standing there helpless... just giving up. But I got through it, pulled myself up again, finished doing what needed to be done, and then heading back to my room to flop down on my bed, bury my face in my pillows... SCREAM... exhale, and breathe... then just wait for my mom to come around to tell us that supper is ready...

I guess the bottom line of what I was going through my mind at that point was just getting away for a bit. Granted I give kudos to my brother for taking me to the movies, but I needed something else, something more... and so after supper was all said in done, the idea comes to my mind of heading downtown to smoke at the hookah bar. My brother was definitely all for that plan... but then again I did owe him too...

However, before we were on our way downtown, this is what catches my attention and sparks the caring nature inside of me to light up and say, "Gina get off your lazy ass, stop thinking about you for just a second. And help a friend who's hurting and going through the same bullshit you are..." So that's what I did...

***A text message to me, from my friend reads: "Hey what's up chick?"

my reply: "Not much eating supper with family..."

friend: "O so are u in town?"

my reply: "Yes that I am" :-) and "Why you wondering?"

friend: "Ugh! Me and C. just broke up.

my reply: "God tell me about it let's go vent cause I feel like shit from what's happened to me in the past few days in terms of girls too"

So therefore at this point I'm like, Wow, and to think I thought I had it bad. But what ended up happening is I went to go see how my friend was doing on my way to the hookah bar with my brother, and to let her know that I'd be over later. So I had some wonderful kiwi/strawberry mixture for the hookah just me and my brother, was able to calm down and relieve some stress. Then after all was said and done, I headed back over to my friend's house and spent some time with her and another friend talking and having some wine, and just being a good friend... someone she could vent to over similar issues we've both had to deal with.

Conclusion.... Helping a friend is good for the soul, no matter how crappy you may feel, when you help someone you always seem to feel better =)

So I had it in my mind last night that I was going to get a headstart on sleep after having a crappy day here at home (Rapid City) fixing my car, doing chores, and slugging away at a few poems I have left to finish. Well, I got nestled into bed around 10:45pm, and everything was fine, despite my feet feeling like bricks of ice from my cold blankets and sheets. It was nice, me all tucked in bed all comfortable at last, feeling my aching muscles relax, aww good stuff indeed, or so I thought...

...15 minutes later...

Squirming around in my blankets, tossing and turning, to get into my comfy spot. Sighing out of frustration I open my eyes and flip my cell phone open... Damnit... There it reads a lovely 11:00pm. I wanted to hurl my phone across my room, and watch it shatter against my wall in the dimly lit LCD blueish light from my computer's power button. I was pissed, so there I laid staring up at my lovely ceiling, reflecting on the days occurrences. Talk about feeling blue, my day sucked...

...30 minutes gone by and still awake...

Just laying there in bed, trying hard not to cry as thoughts invade my mind. The sayings I've heard countless times, "Karma's a bitch!", "The truth hurts...", "I told you so", or the infamous "You were right" all these phrases from different people, and yet they don't even take the time to stop and think... to put themselves in my shoes for once. So as I'm laying there teary eyed, I come to one conclusion that's proven to be true countless times, with my own life, and in the life of some of my friends and that's this... You know how they say a woman feels more pain in her lifetime, than anything painful a man will ever experience in his lifetime... Well, it's true... I'd even goes so far as to say the top 3 painful things a women experiences in her lifetime are as follows:

3.) giving birth
2.) death of a loved one, family member, and/or friend
1.) having a broken heart

.... Am I wrong, in jumping to that conclusion... if so please feel free to comment...

.... I somehow manage to drift in and out of brief moments of sleep as the night wears on...

And yet, when morning arrives, I feel as if I've been beaten a thousand times, my heart stripped from my insides, only to be bled dry... shoved back inside of me, and stabbed... again and again. I've lost this battle once again... and somehow I have to find a way to put the pieces back together, in order to move on and get what I need to get done, done. So in ending I've come to the conclusion that in order to obtain real love... sometimes you just have to sit back go on with life as usual and be patient, wait things out, and then maybe then love will come and find you. Till then well who knows, I'm just taking it one day at a time, and that's all I really can do.