Showing posts with label healing. Show all posts

So I had it in my mind last night that I was going to get a headstart on sleep after having a crappy day here at home (Rapid City) fixing my car, doing chores, and slugging away at a few poems I have left to finish. Well, I got nestled into bed around 10:45pm, and everything was fine, despite my feet feeling like bricks of ice from my cold blankets and sheets. It was nice, me all tucked in bed all comfortable at last, feeling my aching muscles relax, aww good stuff indeed, or so I thought...

...15 minutes later...

Squirming around in my blankets, tossing and turning, to get into my comfy spot. Sighing out of frustration I open my eyes and flip my cell phone open... Damnit... There it reads a lovely 11:00pm. I wanted to hurl my phone across my room, and watch it shatter against my wall in the dimly lit LCD blueish light from my computer's power button. I was pissed, so there I laid staring up at my lovely ceiling, reflecting on the days occurrences. Talk about feeling blue, my day sucked...

...30 minutes gone by and still awake...

Just laying there in bed, trying hard not to cry as thoughts invade my mind. The sayings I've heard countless times, "Karma's a bitch!", "The truth hurts...", "I told you so", or the infamous "You were right" all these phrases from different people, and yet they don't even take the time to stop and think... to put themselves in my shoes for once. So as I'm laying there teary eyed, I come to one conclusion that's proven to be true countless times, with my own life, and in the life of some of my friends and that's this... You know how they say a woman feels more pain in her lifetime, than anything painful a man will ever experience in his lifetime... Well, it's true... I'd even goes so far as to say the top 3 painful things a women experiences in her lifetime are as follows:

3.) giving birth
2.) death of a loved one, family member, and/or friend
1.) having a broken heart

.... Am I wrong, in jumping to that conclusion... if so please feel free to comment...

.... I somehow manage to drift in and out of brief moments of sleep as the night wears on...

And yet, when morning arrives, I feel as if I've been beaten a thousand times, my heart stripped from my insides, only to be bled dry... shoved back inside of me, and stabbed... again and again. I've lost this battle once again... and somehow I have to find a way to put the pieces back together, in order to move on and get what I need to get done, done. So in ending I've come to the conclusion that in order to obtain real love... sometimes you just have to sit back go on with life as usual and be patient, wait things out, and then maybe then love will come and find you. Till then well who knows, I'm just taking it one day at a time, and that's all I really can do.